This was SO GOOD. Really nice incorporation of the song into the story line.
In honor of May the 4th and the Revenge of the 5th. Ten thousand points to Joe for showing me this.
Why did I never think of this?! The perfect coming of age story.
How I imagine this modeling gig will go.
My WTF moment of the year
You know when you’re having one of those days when you’re just going about your business, doing real people stuff and somebody comes up to you and asks you to model for them?
Yeah me neither.
I was just chilling in the Fine Arts Cafe, heating up some noodle wheels in their microwave when I saw someone looking through the interior window in my direction. I figured he was deep in contemplation about whether to get a black bean quesadilla or a tofu burger, so I paid him no mind, especially since I tend to avoid eye contact with strangers and new people entirely. But as I gazed into the mind numbing vortex of my slowly rotating Tupperwear, I heard a voice behind me and turned to see an older man.
“Excuse me. This is going to sound weird but I’ve been looking for someone who looks a lot like you.”
Someone a lot like me. Well it sure is hard to find a blonde chick at U.Va. He told me he was interested in painting me—a paid gig—and clothed, he noted. I wasn’t sure if it made it more or less creepy that he had to specify that. But then he told me he was working on the murals in Old Cabell hall and wanted to add more paintings into the spaces. I used to walk past these murals all the time on my way into the library (to nap) and remembered how beautiful they were, so I took his card, and smiled somewhat skeptically when he said “What year are you? You’re graduating? That’s too bad…”
I ran up to the Fine Arts Library immediately (another good place to nap) and looked up my potential axe murderer on the interwebs. At first glance, I was pretty sure I was going to get hacked. The website listed on his business card did not exist. But by further searching his name, I found him— Lincoln Perry is a real artist with real murals and a Distinguished Visiting Artist position at U.Va. There are pictures his work and even a Silverthorn films production about him online.
Look familiar?
Now that I know Perry is both an authentic dude and a genuinely nice man, I think it would be very hard to ask a stranger to pose for you in a non-creepy way. I invite you to try it. Just go up to some random in the library, look them in the eye and say “Hey. Your face. I like that shit. How much?”
Let me know what happens.
You know you want to play this at your next party.
Source: SoundCloud / Nyce Trackss
My new favorite activity
I decided to run to the grocery store yesterday with my Eurotrip backpack as my shopping cart. Those who went on study abroad with me have a name for the phenomenon that is me carrying this backpack: the turtle walk. When you’re carrying everything on your back, you need to plan carefully what things you are going to buy, so naturally I headed straight for the soup section. I’ve been listening to my iPod relics to find inspiration for a play I’m writing based on a song, and incidentally the perfect song came on at just that time.
Perhaps it’s because I’ve been taking acting, perhaps it’s because I just don’t give an eff, but the three minute reverie I had dancing to Canned Heat in the soup can aisle with the biggest effing backpack you have ever seen was just fantastic.
Couldn’t go for any of those tips? Maybe you’ll go for this.
An open letter to Cosmo magazine
Dear Cosmo,
Please stop emailing me. While your articles are well intentioned, I happen to know everything there is about men, fashion and getting my own. I never even get past the headlines because I already know what they’re going to say.
How to pick up a hot guy. Easy. You get the best leverage for lifting him off the ground by squeezing him around the middle till he almost pukes. If he struggles, you must squeeze him harder.
Naughty phrases he can’t resist. I generally go for the tried and true “I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.” If he doesn’t go for that, a good ole “I want to be on you” will do.
Look amazing when the weather sucks. I already have my off-yellow giraffe print Goodwill umbrella that I bought for $1. Because I’m worth it.
Sizzling style straight off the runway. By runway, I take it you mean parachutes and pants. Way ahead of you.
It drives him wild when I… Do my sloth dance on the dance floor. Sloths are sexual. So very sexual.
Recipes to seduce your man. I recently woke up in a bed covered in chocolate. Maybe it was from a crazy night, maybe my roommate just left a Lindt present on my pillow and forgot to tell me. I’ll never tell.
The sexy look no man can resist. As a woman who changed her skirt in the middle of a public library today, I think I’ve got that covered.
Foods that make you even sexier. Did I mention I managed to lose not one but two separate food items in my bra the day before? You know what I call that? Storage convenience. Hot.
Get girl next door hot. My next door neighbor looks like this, so I’d say I’m almost there.
Styles that make your guy stare. I believe there is a place in every closet for a sundress-sweatshirt pairing. Trust me, they stare.
Lose weight while sitting at your desk. I refuse, absolutely refuse, to undergo cosmetic surgery to reduce my weight. I will not cut off my foot.
This explains so much.
